2 Incidents, Briefly Now

Saturday I was sitting on the couch when I heard what can only be described as "someone-is-murdering-me screaming". Blood curdling, high-pitched shrieks, in chorus of about 4 or 5 different timbres. Distracted from my reading, I decided to listen for a minute to determine if someone was being raped or actively murdered (in front of a live studio audience, no less), or if a group of people had merely stumbled in on the scene of a good-old-fashioned massacre. Instead what I heard was this:

"THERE IS A BIRD IN THE HOUSE!"
"A BIRD IS IN THE HOUSE!"
"IT'S A BIRD! IT'S A BIRD!"
"OH MY GOD!"
"THERE IS A BIRD IN THE HOUSE!"

Bonus points if you can repeat this chorus in five part round and sustained for 3-5 minutes.

The way I can see it, the incident can be read three ways:

1. We're in a dystopian Blade Runner style future, and the birds are supposed to be extinct, thus necessitating such an extreme reaction.
2. There really is no natural life in Los Angeles, and people have forgotten that the are the dominant factor in the local food-web
3. OMG! BIRD FLU IS HERE!

Additionally, with the return of warm weather, the bag-men have returned. Last night an elite strike team raided the garbage cans out in the street, in a process which took no less than 30 minutes and resulted in every piece of garbage without a CRV attached to it being scattered through out the street.

This afternoon, some dude freaking rolled up into our front yard, and proceeded to rifle through one of our recycling bins, carefully laying out everything of any value in a fan pattern behind him on the ground. Rather than raise a fuss and get my ass beat, I decided to watch him. After about 10 minutes of rummaging, he very carefully closed the recycling lid, and picked up all of the bottles and cans he had scattered with a yellow plastic bag. On leaving our yard, he even carefully replaced the gate chain. Truly, he is the sasquatch of the West Adams Neighborhood, a gentle giant who lives in harmony with both his ecology. I am surprised he has found a way to thrive off of the intrusion of mankind into his domain.

2 more months. 2 more months.

A Thuggin Future

At last, dear reader, the school year has officially ended. This can only mean one thing- we need to survive but one meager summer here at ThugzMansion. The next three months are all we have left. Think what you will of the brave Thugz residing at this humble abode, but it is my duty to sadly report that we will NOT be renewing our Thuggin lease- alas, we must relocate to Menlow behind Ralphs once our edjutainment at USC starts up again. Despite this arguably “pussy” move on our part, despite our seemingly apparent cowardice, despite the letters and cards I am SURE we shall receive berating us for our future domicile selection, all three of us thugz wait in apprehension by the mail slot, aware and prepared for the postal onslaught. I only ask, dear reader, that you not judge us by our residential selection, but by the quality of our character- as thuggin as that may be. And never forget- ThugzManse isn’t just a place, it isn’t where we live- it’s HOW we live, WHY we live, and you can NEVER take that away from us….. NEVER………..EVER!

Till next time, fellow Thugz-

PeaceOut.